Chapter I (The start)As of this fall I have started my long awaited studies. After many years of twisting and turning my options (or more so trying not to think about it), I finally settled for engineering physics. The only program that I from the beginning was certain NOT to choose...
I have moved down to Lund in south Sweden. To an area known as "Skåne". People here talk very funny, much like in Denmark (although the Danes sound more like they got two bowls of porridge in their mouths). They say strange things like "Chex" instead of "Kex" (Kex, means biscuits/crackers). They also pronounce "R" in a very strange way, with their tongue almost down their throat. I have of course pointed out that they speak in a very peculiar way but for some reason they have no idea what I'm talking about.
Lund is a small cosy university town with a population of around ninety thousand people of whom about 50% are students. A lot of people ask me why I've chosen Lund when I come from Uppsala (which is an even bigger university town). Well, simply because I've lived in Uppsala my entire life, it's nice to see something new. I think that it would be quite different studying in Uppsala compared to just living there, but after travelling around the world I thought to myself, what the heck, why not go to a completely new place. I kinda miss the student ”nations” (student clubs) in Uppsala, they're huge compared to the ones in Lund (don't forget I did study a course in Uppsala at one point, ”The age of the Dinosaurs”...) but there are still plenty of good places here in Lund (the alcohol is tax free...). The student nations are not all about drinking, I have heard rumours that you can do other stuff there as well. Supposedly it's great fun to work there, even though you don't get paid, oh well, you get paid....yes that's right, with alcohol. But even so, it's seems like much fun and I'm sure I will get a bit more organized with my nation at some point. They also have different clubs like photo clubs and just about anything you can think of. You can do sports, eat cheap lunches, they have cafés, or you can just go there for a beer....awesome.
My studies are going so and so, but still alright. I have had my first tests, passed one, the other one I'm a bit nervous about, haven't gotten the results back yet. And the reason for not having top grades yet...well, let's take it all from the beginning:
I moved down to Lund on the 16th of August. I'm sharing an apartment with a friend. It's a nice one-roomer in central Lund. It's quiet big, at least for being just one room. It's about 70 square meters and about four and a half metre to the ceiling, very nice. The building is owned by a Hare Krishna organization and they have a little vegetarian restaurant out the back. Once a month they have their meetings and you'll see them dressed up with spots painted on their foreheads. Once I was invited down to the restaurant when they had their equivalence of “Christmas”, it was interesting.
After about one week of acclimatization it was time to go to school...for the first time in three years. It was a bit nervous on my first day of school, felt just like when you were young. I go to a part of the university called Lund's Institute of Technology (LTH). There are many technical engineering programs there, including physics, chemistry, eco-system, computers, machines, electronics, fire engineers, industrial economy, architecture (we don't consider them “real technologs”), industrial design, road and water construction, nano technology, mathematics...and a few more. The school is divided into different sections and there is GREAT rivalry between them. I cannot stress the amount of rivalry there is between the sections, more on that later.
There aren't that many women in the technical programs, or at least so I thought. At the first gathering, roll call, there were people from several of the programs. I saw a lot of girls there, which was good....but I soon got disappointed. They called up the different programs and the people belonging to that program then left the room. As soon as “Architecture” was called up, around 50% of the females left, and then after “industrial design” was called, there weren't that many left. The physics section isn't famous for their huge amount of pretty girls, more for having a lot of nerds. But things aren't as bad as they first appeared, I have as of now got to love the nerds, and might even become one myself some day (I'll try not to, but...), and the girls, well there are some, and some aren't too bad at all...
The first period of my studies consisted of a lot of initiation rites, during a period that is formally known as the “zero-ing”. Lund's Institute of Technology (LTH) is very famous for this. We have the biggest and best zero-ing of all there is in the universe....and that's the biggest part of the reason for my non-top grades...
Chapter II (The Zero-ing)On the first day we were divided into get-to-know-each-other-groups and we had a few older students taking care of us. After getting presented to one and other we headed to a lecture-hall and sat down not knowing what was in store for us. A person started to talk about mathematics and boring stuff like that. Suddenly the lights went out, everything was completely dark and quiet. Then, suddenly a film started to play, projected onto a big screen. After a raffling introduction a crew of “Arabs” were presented, originated from the deserts of Arabia they had ridden their camels all the way to Sweden to take care of the zero-ing. The “pushers” (well that’s the best translation I can think of, “fös” in swedish, mostly used in the sense of pushing a herd of sheep forward, got nothing to do with drug dealing) consisted of one “High-pusher” and five co-pushers. After the film had ended it was all dark again. When the lights came back on, the pusher-crew was standing there in front of us. Six people dressed up like Arabs with the “High-pusher” in the middle. He came front and shouted out “Hello Zero!” (zeros that’s us) and we had to shout back “Hello High-Pusher!”. Every section has their own pusher-crew with their own theme that varies from year to year. For example, electro had cowboys, industrial economy had superheroes, machine had ninjas etc. Some section always has the same theme, eco-system for example have sharks. There is also a Zero-general, he has great authority, maybe the most important being that he is one of the very few people who has power to stop the “zero-song” (more on that later).
The first evening started out gently with a little barbecue with a couple of the groups and then we all headed to the “Hilbert Café” in the F-house, for a little bar-evening. Hilbert is the F-sections (F for Fysics, we don’t use ph...) mascot and as opposed to the other section's mascot, he exists in reality. At a zoo we have our own moose Hilbert. He is well and proud of his mission to promote the gloriness of the F-section.
Every day the first week had a lot of things in store. We bought our overalls in the section colour. The F-colour is 6122 Ångström (in english, bright orange), we look a lot like road workers or garbage handlers for that matter. I still have to say I am glad with the orange colour, it could have been a lot worse. The computer-section has pink overalls, nasty. Then it was time for the “Man-ly (as in masculine) games”, the girls had a “sitting” (dinner, guess they wanted the few girls to get to know each other better). We were divided into teams and then competed in various tasks, manly tasks, like rolling down a hill, a relay throwing of car wheels, pressing as many people as possible into a volvo and then letting the other team push it uphill, best time wins, beer-heaving, relay race with the pushers on our back. The event ended with an honourable painting of the “phone-booth” in orange.
In the middle of LTH there is a lake (more like a dirty, stinking little pond) known as “The Lake Lake” and in the lake there is an island known as, yes, “The Island Island”. This lake has a very central place during the zero-ing and a lot of events take place here and in the surroundings. On the “Island Island” there is a phone booth and there’s great glory in keeping it in the section’s colour. During the zero-ing the paint never dries, the phone-booth changes colour about three times per day, sometimes more.
After the manly-games it was time to head to a big outside disco for all the sections. First I was a bit worried that I would feel a bit odd, being at a disco with an orange overall, but I was not alone. Most people had their section overall on, and after seeing the computer section in their pink overalls I didn’t feel the least bit weird.
Some days were calmer than others during the first week. On Thursday we had our first sitting/gasque (dinnerparty). I put my suit on and headed over the the gasque hall. It was WILD! A lot of singing (we have our own song book) and cheering. A lot of “nubbe” (spiced spirit – shot) and then some attempts to dance. Very fun. Also very traditional swedish, there are a lot of songs that date back to the 18th century.
On Saturday we had our “Zero-bus-ride”, now things really start to happen. We filled up three full big buses (of course everyone had their orange overall on). We got briefed on the instructions. Always have a beer in your hand, if you go under a bridge you have to duck (so you don't hit your head of course), and very important, in round-a-bouts you have to shout: “one more lap....one more lap...”. I think the most laps we went around in the round-a-bout was about seventeen (the record is 102). People in other vehicles were a bit frustrated with having three buses going round-and-round-and-round-and-round blocking up the whole round-a-bout. Another rule was to sing a lot. Already, we had our favorite songs (including “the scotsman” and “the viking”). One activity which took place in the bus was something Aussies would like – “Beer Rugby”. Not for the weak, let me tell you. The rules are quiet simple. You have two teams. Each team consists of one beer heaver, one runner and one wrestler. The Runner starts at one end of the bus and then has to run with a bottle opener to the beer heaver who is positioned on the other side of the bus, and open his beer bottle so he/she can drink it. The wrestler has to try and stop the runner. The first team that finishes it's beer wins.
My team was up against another get-to-know-each-other-group team. I was the runner (big mistake). The wrestler I was up against was an ex-marine (“coast hunter”, Swedish elite troop, the only offensive unit we have) weighing about 95 kg, good at wrestling, kick boxing, kravmaga and beer heaving. People have afterwards said that I “flew like a feather”. I ended up on a seat with him on top, was impossible to get up. I had open wounds on my leg and scratch marks and bruises all over my body....hardcore.
We did a few stops, first at an old medieval fortress. We had a guided tour and then had some games in the surroundings and lunch. Then we stopped by the sea. We gathered on one of the sand dunes and it was now time to learn the glorious “Zero-song”. What's special about the zero-song is that there are very few people who are allowed to start it....and even fewer who are allowed to stop it. The only persons who are allowed to initiate the song are this year's High-pusher, the headmaster and the Zero-general, and the Zero-general and the headmaster are the only ones who are allowed to stop it. There's not too much to say about the song except that it points out that we are zero's and know nothing at all, can't do anything good at all but we still have fun. While singing you have to make the zero-song-dance which mostly consists of shaking your hips and making a big zero with the arms.
A few brave souls went for a swim in the ocean (including me)...it was absolutely freezing. After some wrestling on the beach it was time to head on.
We stopped at another place. The people guiding us were older students and they had a paper sign on their back saying “Reiseleiter” which is german for “Tour guide”. When we came out of the bus (after being shaken...people rush out of the first bus that arrives and then runs up to the next one that arrives and shakes it for a couple of minutes) it was time for the “oink-oink” game. It's quit simple: one person is a big moose and shapes his hands as horns. He then runs around making moose sounds “oooouuuuaaaa” while everyone else runs around like chickens (arms along your body and your hands flapping) and shouts “oink-oink”. Then you switch, you have one “oinker” and the rest are mooses. Feel free to try it out!
There were a lot of locals and tourists looking at us very strangely. The locals knowing we were students and the tourists being very puzzled. While walking down towards the sea (three bus loads of people in orange overalls) I heard a couple of tourists talking about us. They were discussing what on earth we were up to, the whole situation being kinda strange. Then one of them sees the “Reiseleiter” sign on one of the guides backs and points out “aha, it says Reiseleiter on that girls back, that's german for tour guide” and then it all made sense....they thought we were germans, which of course explained our behavior....
At last we arrived at our destination, “Ales stenar”, a bunch of rocks by the sea formed as a ship, raised some 1400 hundred years ago. It was now time for a ritual. The “High-pusher” was about to be formally accepted as this years High-pusher by the older ones from former years.
One of the elders demonstrated what was to be done: he took a raw egg and ate it (with the shell and everything) and then drank a whole glass of bitter (sw. “besk”, the most horrifying drink invented, spiced spirit). Then the High-pusher came up and repeated the ritual together with the elder (in other words, he did it twice). Then it was the co-pushers turn. They got down on their knees and Phil (one of the elders) made them ice-cream. Doesn't sound too bad but it was. He took a big bowl and filled it with milk sugar and all kinds of stuff. But most of it contained alcohol. He then poured liquid nitrogen over the whole thing to cool it down a bit. Then they had to eat it all up, must have been horrible, alcohol doesn't freeze at very high temperatures (194 degrees Kelvin, or in english, -79 degrees Celsius).
When we finally got back from the bus ride we all went into the sauna and then had some pea-soup and punch (a very traditional student meal, punch is a swedish spirit, very nice) on the “punch-veranda”. Later that evening we had a dinner sitting/slasque (slasque means we had overalls instead of suits). Then afterwards we joined some other sections (including eco-system...they have a lot of girls) and partied all night. A very wild day...
During the zero-ing we had numerous dinner sittings/gasques with the obligatory wild party afterwards. Some were with the F-section and some with other sections. On some you wear a suit and on some your overall. The best ones, generally, were of course the ones with eco-system, chemistry (especially them) and road and water, for reasons hinted above.
On one of these sittings, the “get-to-know-each-other-gasque” (only for the F-section), we had to come early. We were divided into groups and then did some activities, quiet fun. The groups, known as “zero-groups”, each got a very important mission. Most of these missions would culminate on the “Regatta”, the highlight of the zero-ing. My group was one of the most important ones and we were each hand-picked for this extremely important task....we were the “terrorist” group!
Chapter III The RegattaThe Regatta is a big sea-battle that takes place in “The Lake Lake”. One zero-group builds a boat that will compete in this monstrous battle. There are a lot of other activities that also take place. Some will only be seen on the day of the Regatta, such as the “bribe-group” and the “beer-heaver-group” and a lot of the groups during the “Zero-Saturday” which takes place the day before the Regatta in central Lund. You get scores for how well your section performs in each event and in the end the best section will win the big price, a trophy, a buckly car door that will be painted in the section's colour. The F-section has won the Regatta for several years in a row and we intend to keep on winning.
The Terrorist group's mission is to show the gloriness of the section by carrying out various terrorist acts against the other sections (don't worry, nothing too violent) and also to occupy the “Island Island” the days before the Regatta. In front of every section's house there is some kind of a sculpture (for example, industrial economy has a $-sign, electro a computer chip etc.). These have to be painted with the section's colour, and more importantly the phone booth needs to be painted. This is one of things the terror group is responsible of.
During this period the phone booth will change colour many times a day. A lot of the work with the terror group was planning. On almost every lunch break we met up with the terrorist-cell and discussed possible targets. One morning we found our moose Hilbert (the big moose sign on the wall of our building) mounted by electro's polar bear, not good. All over LTH's area different signs from all the sections were put up, and taken down by the other sections' terrorist groups. The whole area was active day and night. People building war ships, push-cars, monuments, beer-heaving training,rehearsing with the zero-band, painting phone-booths etc...
One evening we built a big wooden F. We nailed the whole thing together on top of I-economy's $-sign. The next morning we found it painted pink by the computer-section and with blue dots from road-and-water. That was alright though, made the impression of a jointed forces attack...no one really likes the economy-section.
All the other activities didn't stop because of the preparation for the regatta, the parties were plenty and the zero-spirit blossoming. One day it was time for the annual logo-painting followed by the High-pusher desecration. On the ground outside the F-building all sections paint their logo on the ground. Hamburgers are served from the barbeque, beer is intaken and terror groups are running around putting up signs on the roofs and elsewhere. The desecration of the High-pusher (from all sections) is carried out next to the Lake Lake. They start down a hill and have to spin around a stick (in sweden known as “norwegian drunkenness”) and then have to crush some balloons and then run up the slope on plastic covered in water and soap. Then crawl through a long tunnel made of chicken-netting while the zeros throw eggs at them. Rumours said electro had saved eggs for over half a year to make them extra smelly. Then they crawled through another tunnel full of flour. After that they had to jump into the Lake-Lake (which is punishment enough, it's very-very smelly). I spoke to our High-pusher the day after, he had showered nine times, been in the sauna a couple of times, but still smelled of old eggs.
On the Wednesday before the big weekend, with the Zero-Saturday and the Regatta on Sunday, the Island Island was suddenly inhabited by people in strange looking clothes. They were biology-students from Lund's University and they were defining all the species they could find, including the technolog-students. They had white robes on and had binoculars and fishing rods. They had painted the phone-booth with weird figures and had a big sign claiming they were “real academics”. They were placed there by us to hold the Island Island for the big occupation planned to take place on the following day. The rules were simple, three members out of the terror group were to occupy the Island Island till the day of the Regatta. They could not be substituted by others and were not allowed to leave the Island Island. Other sections could then try to invade and overtake the Island Island by challenging the occupiers. The challengers and the occupiers would commence the battle by singing. A maximum of ten seconds of silence between the songs was allowed and you could not sing the same song twice. The songs that were allowed were the songs from the technolog-song-book. To make things a bit more complex you had to do the “huvud-axlar-knä-och-tår-dance” (head-shoulders-knees-and-toes-dance). The first group to give up would loose and in case of the occupiers loosing they would have to leave the island being replaced by the challenging section. A normal challenge would last about six hours or more, usually during the night.
The next day our warriors got ready to take the island. We helped them carry down all the food and beer, and the bucket that would be put inside the phone booth for toilette issues, to the Lake-Lake and out they went. They were challenged the first night by the chemistry-section for six hours, till the challengers gave up with the rain pouring down on them.
We often hung around the Lake Lake to show our support and tell them about all the terrorist actions that were to take place. We put up monuments outside the other sections' buildings, we changed the text on the commuter trains to texts about Hilbert the Moose, with picture of course (on the trains they had a picture of famous people from Skåne and a small text about them), turned electro's electro-chip monument into an electro-chip grave etc...
On the Zero-Saturday we all met up in central Lund, in a big park (Lundagård). The zero-air-band-groups all did their performances on a big stage in front of all the students and of course the referees. Then it was time for the assault course, every section had built a hinder. After that it was time for the push-car race. Everyone was dressed in their section overalls, the zero-cheerleader-groups were making sure everyone was singing, cheering, clapping hands and dancing. Flags were waving in the wind. The pushers were mostly walking around looking cool.
It was then time for the big tournament. It was carried out on stage and the combat was fierce, with the knights on top of their horses, camels, elephants, park benches etc. Lances were shattered and blows were given (don't worry it was mostly show). A defeated samurai (in cardboard armour) went down on his knees and committed harakiri with his cardboard knife, very dramatic.
It was a great day!
Woke up the next day from my phone ringing. I had almost slept over, I put on my orange overall, my black moose-t-shirt, packed a few beers and filled my hip flask with Jägermeister and quickly headed down to the Lake Lake. Our boys were still sitting on the Island Island, think they were pretty sick of it by that time. We painted our faces for battle and headed down town. On the way we found the machine-section with their broken down bicycle-bus sitting at the town square (a bus driven by bicycles). They had with their hybris decided to make it into a double-decker. It all got too heavy with the bikers driving the bus plus people on top.
Then we heard the orchestra...A big parade met our eyes. Everyone was walking section wise with the regatta boats. Everyone was wearing the section colours and singing and cheering. In the lead there was a big march-orchestra with dancers in front. The drums were hammering and the trumpets screaming, the trombones dazzling and the horns singing. We, in the F-section, also were accompanied by two live camels(!).
We walked down to LTH and the Lake Lake. The Island Island occupiers were saluted. In the Lake Lake there was also a bridge. Every year road and water builds a bridge so that the referees can walk out to the Island Island, it is constructed in a way so it will break, throwing the referees into the smelly water. Electro, every year builds an aerial cableway over the Lake Lake.
First it was time for the beer-heaving contest. The zero-beer-heaving groups from all the sections stood on a line. They were all very good, well trained. We came second, three seconds after machine, which is still quite good since machine always wins the beer heaving contest. They have one guy who I think has got a swedish record in beer heaving. The zero-bribing-group then did their job trying to bribe the referees best way they could. They did an excellent job. During this time, we in the terror group did our biggest terrorist act during the whole zero-ing. This is an act that will be spoken of for many years to come. We raised the level till the next year, and this will always be taken up as an example for future terrorist groups.
Specially imported from Germany we had a special orange colour that has been developed to colour lakes. Two terror-members paddled around in a raft and coloured the Lake Lake bright orange, it was beautiful. Everyone was watching and all the other sections knew they were defeated, how could they match us, with camels and an orange Lake Lake among other things. Well, of course, everything wasn't finished yet, there was still the most important contest, the big sea battle – the Regatta.
The occupants left the island cheered by all the people standing around, they had lived on a little island, not bigger than 4 square meters, in the middle of a very smelly pond for over three days, with lack of sleep and too much beer, well done! The referees then took place on the island, the bridge broke down as planned. It was now time for what we all had been waiting for, the big battle!
Three ships a time, battled against each other. The ship builders, I must admit, had been very creative. There were ships that looked like butter boxes (eco-system's), nintendo's or in this case “ingtendo” (“ingenjör” eng. “engineer”) etc. The machine section had a cool submarine “Mursk”, they played soviet march music when they put it in the water. Our boat was of course a big camel.
When the battle commenced, most of the people in the boat crews jumped into the water and swam over to the the other boats and wrecked them, they also wrecked their own boats so the other sections wouldn't get the opportunity. After each heat the Lake Lake was full of rubbish from the wrecks, people rushed into the water to help with the cleaning. The section would get extra points the more people from the section cleaning. I myself went in, it was really cold and very smelly! The Lake Lake is completely black (except for the orange colouring of course) and at the sides there were fish floating around belly up (fish that we naturally threw at the machine section). I was covered with dirt when I came up, completely black and smelled like poo, but the lake was clear of wreck parts (well not really), at least until the next battle.... After a few minutes I felt an itch on my leg, I discovered it was produced by two live rattling fish in my pocket.
Electro, kept going over the lake in their cableway throwing flour at the competitors (electro's colour is white).
After the battle we went into the big sauna, all who had been in the Lake Lake had to be washed with a hose before entering the building. Even with these showers, I still smelled.
Later when I came home I took a long bath to get rid of the Lake Lake odour but it was impossible, two showers later I felt I could again be amongst other people, without worrying that they would be looking at the soles of their shoes every other minute, to see if it was they who had stepped into something a dog had left on the pavement.
During the evening we had a big party, the Regatta-Party! Since all the sections couldn't fit into the building, only the most important zero-groups were there (all the others had another party the night before), the Regatta-groups, the terrorist groups and the bribing-groups. It was great fun, and I have to admit I was a bit sore when coming home at 4:30 a.m. considering I'd been going since nine in the morning.
As you might have guessed at this point, the F-section won the Regatta, for the seventh time. The orange buckled car door is still hanging in the Hilbert Café, and hopefully it will do so next year as well when a new generation of zeros take over.
The Regatta was probably the biggest event during the zero-ing. The last thing during the zero-ing was the Zero-Ball. That's when you become a “one”. We went to a lot of the other sections' parties, especially chemistry's and eco-system's of course (and not to electro's and computer's). We had ours last.
We came to the house where the big ball would reside. First we watched one of the zero-groups performances. They had a “spex”, students' farce, then we watched a film made by the zero-film-group. It was really good, they made fun of economy-students....and of ourselves. Then we listened to the zero-band-group. They were really good and really got the party going. Then we had our dinner and lots of nubbe. We sang and had a good time with all the people we had gotten to know during the zero-period. Then finally it was time for the ritual where we would no longer be considered “zeros” but instead “ones”. All the zeros gathered outside with their hats (we weren't allowed to wear them before this, that would have resulted in punishment, we don't know what kind of punishment since no one dared to try...) and we proposed a toast and sang the zero-song one last time. Then we poured our beer in our hats and put it on our heads. At last we had become “Ones”, what a great moment.
The only thing that remained was to throw our pushers into the Lake Lake (old tradition). We partied all night long and had a really good time.
Chapter IV AfterwordsThe zero-ing has been a great period, I have got to know a lot of new friends (which is the biggest reason they have the zero-ing alltogether). I look back on this period with nostalgia already and it is definitely something I will remember for the rest of my life. We've all had so much fun and some of us will have the opportunity to re-experience the whole thing, helping with next years zeros or maybe as co-pushers, Reiseleiters or maybe even High-pusher.
For now, I'm gonna start focusing a bit more on my school work. Everything is going alright and I think I'm starting to get the hang of studying. The first term has been tough, mostly because I'm not used to studying. I haven't been in school for over three years before this and it feels like I've forgotten everything that I've learnt earlier, things that I was expected to know of during the first mathematics-courses which has been a real pain. It has sometimes felt like starting all over again, with the one big difference, instead of having several months to learn something, I now have about one week or less. The tempo is really high and it's not easy stuff that we learn either. And it will get worse. Engineering physics is considered to be the hardest education in Sweden so I guess I just have to bite down hard and keep on working. We'll see what happens but it's going better and better and once I get used to it, I think it will be just fine.
Regards
David (a “one”)
